


Take Me or Leave Me

by ORLPridefan9312



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Cheating, F/F, First Meetings, Flashbacks, Marriage, US Women's Soccer National Team
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2019-05-30 23:16:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15106814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ORLPridefan9312/pseuds/ORLPridefan9312
Summary: Natalie Harris walks outside and slams the front door shut and stands out in the pouring rain in Orlando after catching her wife in their bed with Ali Krieger. She starts running, despite still recovering from ACL and MCL surgery six week prior and not caring if she tears those ligaments again. She's running, letting the frustration out in each step when she makes it to a park then leans against a tree, freeing the emotion she's feeling and collapsing to her knees.The only question remains...where did their marriage go wrong?





	1. November 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I took down most of my Ashlyn/Natalie stories because I decided to change a lot of the story between them. There are a lot of flashback chapters in the story, so I will be making title names for each chapter with a year that the chapter occurs in.

Natalie Harris walks outside and slams the front door shut and stands out in the pouring rain in Orlando after catching her wife in their bed with Ali Krieger. She starts running, despite still recovering from ACL and MCL surgery six week prior and not caring if she tears those ligaments again. She's running, letting the frustration out in each step when she makes it to a park then leans against a tree, freeing the emotion she's feeling and collapsing to her knees. An hour later, she hasn't moved from the spot when a blanket is wrapped around her. She looks up and sees Sydney and Dom standing there, both with concerned looks on their faces.

“Ash called us.” Sydney softly said.

“I'm not going home.” Natalie said.

“You're going to stay with us tonight.” Dom softly said then helps Natalie up.

“She's been having an affair with Ali since I don't know when.”

Natalie lays on the bed in the guest room at Sydney's and Dom's as her eyes fill up with tears.

“How bad is it?” Alex asked Sydney in the living room.

“She's not doing great and didn't sleep. I called Carli and Pearcie and they're on their way from New Jersey.” Sydney said. Dom walks into the house with Carli and Christie and the four former teammates hug.

“Where is she?” Christie asked.

“The guest room.” They head to the guest room, leaving Dom in the living room with Cassius, and Natalie gives out a watery sniff in the bedroom as they walk over to her.

“Hey you. I haven't seen you in a while.” Christie said softly.

“Hey Cap. Carli.” Natalie said softly as Christie rubs her arm.

“Is there anything you need?” Carli asked softly.

“I wanna see my kids. Allie and Noah are at school, but I want Adam and Nicole.” Natalie said.

“We can get them.” Natalie reaches behind her and grabs keys.

“The keys to my SUV. I had them in my pocket.” Carli takes the keys.

“I can drop you guys off.” Sydney said to Carli and Christie.

“I'll stay with her.” Alex said softly.

“Remind me to kill Ash.” Carli said.

Ashlyn picks up Adam from the high chair and kisses his cheek then sets him with his sister in the play area when the doorbell rings.

“Do you know that it's – oh, I thought you guys were Natalie.” Ashlyn said when she sees Carli and Christie standing there, both wearing pissed off expressions on their faces.

“What?” Ashlyn asked as they walk into the house.

“You promised me that you weren't going to hurt Natalie. And you did.” Carli said and Ashlyn has a confused look on her face as Ali walks down the stairs.

“What are you talking about?”

“I'm talking about her.” Carli said while pointing to Ali behind her.

“What about me?” Ali asked.

“Natalie saw the two of you last night. How the hell could you do that to her?” Christie asked.

“How long?” Carli asked and Ashlyn looks down.

“A month after the kids were born.” Ashlyn said.

“Ok, she asked for the twins and for you to pack your stuff up and get out of the house.” Christie and Carli walk over to the twins and carefully pick them up.

Natalie walks into the house that night and sees Ashlyn sitting on the couch. The forward slams the door shut, making Ashlyn jump and she looks at Natalie.

“I want you out of my house.” Natalie said.

“I'm not going anywhere until we talk about this.” Ashlyn said as she stands up.

“What the hell is there to talk about? You slept with Krieger for months! BEHIND MY BACK! I needed you after we lost our son!”

“You didn't think I needed you after we lost Nick? You wouldn't look at Adam or Nicole for the first months of their lives! You pushed everyone away!”

“Oh, blame me for grieving! That's all you ever do is blame me for everything that goes fucking wrong in your life.” The duo look at each other, trying to figure out one thing.

How the hell did we get like this and where did it all start going wrong?


	2. May 1st, 2011

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first meeting

Natalie and her three best friends, Denise Fields, Chelsea Wilson and Elizabeth Stabler, arrive at stadium in Rochester to surprise their former indoor soccer coach, Carli Lloyd, who plays for Atlanta in the WPS league, along with the US women's national team, and they still keep in contact with the US midfielder. They skipped their last class of the day just to head up to upstate New York to watch the Flash/Beat match.

"Next time, I'm driving." Denise said as she stretches out her body after sitting in the car for over five hours.

"Yeah right." The other three girls said at the same time as they change into different shirts, but keep their khaki pants on.

"What's wrong with my driving skills?" Denise asked, appalled that her friends would say that to her.

"Denise, you backed your car into a tree. Ten days after you got your license." Natalie said with a chuckle as they head to the entrance to the field.

"The tree came out of nowhere!"

"Keep telling yourself that, Den." Chelsea said.

"Plus, you got five speeding tickets. Within two weeks." Lizzie said.

"Why I'm friends with you guys, I have no idea." Denise said. 

“Because we've known each other for 11 years and we're the closes friends you have.” Natalie said.

“What about Derek?”

“He's an exception because you two are dating.” They find their seats after getting a snack and drinks just in time for warm ups. Natalie sees the goalkeepers warming up for the Flash, but number 24 sticks out.

"She's good." Natalie softly said when she sees her diving and blocking the warm up shot.

"I think someone has a crush on number 24 for the home team." Denise softly said to Chelsea, who looks at her.

"Nat, you have a girlfriend." Chelsea said and Natalie sighs then rubs her forehead.

"Rachel and I broke up."

"Whoa." Denise said and Chelsea immediately regrets bringing Rachel up.

"What happened?" Lizzie asked.

"Distance. She's in Ohio, I'm here. It wasn't going to workout. So, we ended it two weeks ago. Can we talk about something else?" Natalie asked and they agreed. She didn't want to tell them why they really broke up. Yes, distance was a factor, but something bigger was why the relationship ended.

“Did she cheat on you or something?” Chelsea asked and Natalie doesn't say anything.

“Oh man. Who?” Denise asked.

“The quarterback of the football team. Two weeks ago, I went to Ohio to surprise Rachel and I saw them in the living room. I got mad and I showed up at her school the next day. I burned all the letter she wrote me, gave back the necklace she gave me and came back to New York. She's been trying to call me, but the phone calls and e-mails finally stopped.” Natalie said.

“I didn't know, so I'm sorry for bringing her up.” Chelsea said.

“It's ok. The pain's still there, but I'm ready to move on from her.”

“With number 24 for the Flash?” Denise asked then she, Lizzie and Chelsea laugh when Natalie's cheeks turn slightly pink.

NatalieCabot19: We may or may not have ditched the last class to watch the Flash/Beat match in Rochester

heatheroreilly: HA! School ditchers. Say hi to Carli for me

NatalieCabot19: You got it HAO

“We should try to get Carli's attention.” Denise said after the shutout victory for the Flash.

“I got an idea.” Natalie said as they make it to the railing. She sees Carli about thirty feet away from them then counts to three with her fingers and cups her mouth with her hands with her friends.

“CARLI IS THE BEST COACH EVER!” They yelled. Carli starts laughing then looks over to see them waving like lunatics. She chuckles then walks over to them.

“You guys are dorks.” Carli said then hugs them.

“But we're your favorite dorks.” Lizzie said.

“Unfortunately. How did you guys get up here? Skip your last class or something?”

“You can't prove it.” Natalie said then winks and Carli takes a picture with the four of them.

"Hey, who's number 24 for the Flash?" Chelsea asked. Natalie narrows her eyes at the brunette and Chelsea ignores it while Denise and Lizzie try not to laugh.

"You mean Ashlyn? She's really cool and I play with her on the national team. Hey Ash. Come meet some of my friends." Natalie sees the goalkeeper walking over and feels her heart start to pound rapidly inside her chest then notices that she and the goalkeeper are the same height. Rachel was about half a foot shorter than Natalie.

“Hey guys.” Ashlyn said.

“Hey.” Denise, Chelsea and Lizzie said.

“Hello.” Natalie said.

“Ash, these are four of my former players when I was a volunteer coach in college. Denise Fields, Elizabeth Stabler, Chelsea Wilson and Natalie Cabot-O'Brien.” Carli said.

“I mostly go by Natalie Cabot, but it's really nice to meet you, Ashlyn.”

“Hey, did you figure out where you're going to college yet?” Carli asked Natalie.

“Not yet. I have college tours this summer out west then at Duke and North Carolina. I have a college tour next weekend at Rutgers.”

“Natalie's the number one player for the class of 2012 and the Gatorade Women's Soccer Player of the Year.” Carli said to Ashlyn.

“You're that Natalie. HAO, Pearcie and Carli talk about you a lot.” Ashlyn said.

“All good things, I hope.” Natalie said then smiles and Ashlyn feels her knee go weak under her and was hoping Natalie didn't noticed.

"Anyway, we got a long drive back to Manhattan. School day tomorrow." Lizzie said, trying to break up the sexual tension that is obviously there between the goalkeeper and her best friend.

"Right, and workouts for soccer. Ashlyn, it was nice to meet you." Denise said.

"You guys go ahead." Natalie said to her friends.

"Keys?" Denise asked.

"Absolutely not. You're not going anywhere near the driver's seat.”

"We'll be at your car." Lizzie said then they walk away.

"Her license still suspended?" Carli asked.

"More like her Dad took it away from her, but yes." Natalie said. Her hand is right next to Ashlyn's and fights back her pinkie from reaching over and touching her hand.

"That's what she gets for speeding in Manhattan. Hand me your phone."

"Why?"

"Don't ask questions." Natalie unlocks her phone and hands it to Carli, who takes a picture then hands it back to Natalie.

"If you aren't busy tomorrow, you should come to the city." Natalie said.

"I'm flying back to Atlanta tomorrow, but I better see you at the Sky Blue game. Since you owe me lunch at the pizzeria at Rutgers.” Carli said.

“Deal.” The midfielder and the high schooler tightly hug then Natalie walks away as Ashlyn checks her out. Carli looks at the goalkeeper then places her hand on her shoulder.

“She's single.” Carli said to Ashlyn then walks away to sign more autographs. The goalkeeper slowly smiles and knew she had to get her number.

“Hey.” Ashlyn said.

“I'll give you her number afterwards.”

“Thanks.”

“Just don't screw it up if you two do get together. She's had enough heartache and stuff to deal with.”

“Like what?” Ashlyn asked as she is signing autographs.

“Her ex cheating on her with a guy and a little thing called she's a Mom to a two year old girl, who is my goddaughter.”

“How old is she anyway?”

“Nat? She'll be 18 in August and an upcoming senior. She's also the number one female soccer player in the country for her class.”

“Dang.”

Natalie, Denise, Chelsea and Lizzie climb into Natalie's room the window after the drive and Denise falls face first into the floor.

"Ow." Denise said as they try to climb over her, but Chelsea trips over her.

“Ow.” Chelsea said and Natalie gets them up then quietly closes the window.

"Shut up. Do you want to wake up the entire apartment?" Natalie whispered. They hear movement in the hall and Natalie shoves her three friends into the closet and runs into her bathroom.

"Nat?" Olivia softly asked as she opens the door.

"Just a second." Natalie changes into her pajamas, flushes the toilet and turns on the sink for a minute then turns it off. She walks out as she is pretending to dry her hands.

"What's up?" Natalie asked.

"I'm not going to tell your mom about you breaking curfew, but don't do it again." Olivia said.

"Ok." Olivia looks at the closet door then at the seventeen year old.

"Denise, Chelsea and Lizzie can stay the night. And no more weekday trips to Rochester until the summer."

“How did you know that we were in Rochester?” Natalie asked.

“Your Twitter blew your cover. Didn't I teach you to be careful using that site?”

"Nothing gets by you.”

“That's because I'm one of the best detectives in the city. I got called to a scene and I'll keep Elliot off Lizzie's back. Goodnight." Olivia said then kisses her forehead.

"Night Momma." As the four friends lay down in Natalie's room, Natalie's phone vibrates with a text and she reads the text and slowly smiles.

From unknown:  
Hey Natalie. It's Ashlyn. Carli gave me your number and I hope you made it home ok

From Natalie:  
Hey Ash. We made it back to the city in one piece

From Ashlyn:  
Phew. I'm glad :)

The two of them would spend most of the night texting each other and both of them not realizing that they were slowly falling in love with each other.


	3. May 2011 part 2

Ashlyn is blocking every single shot during training, which has her teammates fired up. After blocking another shot, her coach calls the end of training. Alex Morgan walks over to her teammate and they high five.

“Ok, you have blocked every single shot. What gives?” Alex asked.

“I'm just in a good mood today.” Ashlyn said as she takes off her gloves.

“Does this have anything to do with you talking to that teen last week?” Christine Sinclair asked.

“What teen?” Alex asked.

“Her name is Natalie and she's a friend of Carli's.” Ashlyn said.

“Wait, Natalie Cabot? Where was I when she was here?”

“Signing autographs. Wait, how do you know her?”

“She and I went through various youth camps together. Despite her being about five years younger than me, she's really fast and almost better than me at being a forward.” Alex said.

“Alert the presses! Someone is better than Baby Horse at being a forward.” Christine joked and the three of them laugh. Ashlyn opens up her bag and pulls out her cell phone to see a text from Natalie waiting and replies back to her.

“She has a scrimmage today and Carli's going to be there. Anyone wanna go to Manhattan to watch?” Ashlyn asked.

“I'm in.” Alex said.

“Oh come on. It's been a week and you haven't put the phone down.” Chelsea said at lunch when she sees Natalie texting and they all knew who she was texting.

“Sorry.” Natalie said as she puts her phone away.

“You're really into her, aren't you?” Lizzie asked.

“She and I are friends. Whatever happens after I turn 18...that's up to us.”

“Who?” Derek, Denise's boyfriend, asked then takes a bite of his burger.

“None of your business.” Natalie said.

“Honey, I'll tell you later. So, looks like this upcoming season is our last together as teammates for the next four years.” Denise said and the girls stop eating, realizing that their senior year is the last time they're all going to be playing soccer as teammates until after college. Denise, Chelsea and Natalie all play for the under 20 team.

“God, I didn't even realize that.” Chelsea said.

“Denise is going to UCLA, I'm going to Stony Brook, Chelsea to Virginia Tech and Natalie...hasn't made a decision yet.” Lizzie said.

“I won't have a decision for a while. Not until I see the schools and talk to the coaches.” Natalie said. She already narrowed her school choices between North Carolina, Duke, Stanford and Rutgers.

“Well, you are the number one soccer player in the country for our class.”

“Which makes the decision harder. Ok, let's not think about that yet. We have a scrimmage against Bay Ridge today.” Natalie's phone vibrates on the table and the three girls groan.

“Not again.” Lizzie said as Natalie reads the text.

“It's my godmother. She's going to be in town and needs to learn German before the World Cup. No better person to learn German from than my great-grandmother.”

“Loudy Foudy's coming? Sweet!” Denise said.

“Ok, I need to ask this. Why doesn't Natalie use O'Brien for her last name?” Ashlyn asked Carli as they and Alex walk to the soccer field.

“Her Dad is James O'Brien.” Carli said.

“Wait, the James O'Brien? From the '95 Copa America team?”

“The one. She was picked on as a kid when the other kids found out that her Dad was part of the Golden Trio of the men's national team with Eric Wynalda and Alexi Lalas. So, her parents agreed to only use Cabot. After her Dad retired in '98, he and Alex decided to keep Cabot, but legally, Natalie is Natalie Cabot-O'Brien. The only time she hears O'Brien is if she's in major trouble, which is usually never, or when someone introduces her by her full legal last name. Hey Julie.” Carli said when she sees the former midfielder.

“Hey! Does Natalie know you guys are here?” Julie asked as they sit with her.

“Not yet.”

“Natalie, boot the ball to Chelsea!” James called out from the sideline with his hands on his hips as he's wearing khaki pants and a Navy polo shirt. Natalie boots the ball to her best friend and sprints to help her out during the scrimmage.

“Is that James?” Ashlyn asked.

“It is. Although, Natalie really wants him to shave the goatee. She hates facial hair.” Carli said.

“Because...”

“A long story.” The goalkeeper nods. Alex looks over and sees a familiar person.

“Oh crap.” Alex said then Carli looks over with Ashlyn and Julie.

“Damn it.” Carli said when she sees the person.

“What?” Ashlyn asked.

“Her ex-girlfriend is here.”

Natalie high fives her friends after the 4-1 victory and sits down and takes off her soccer gear and puts on her sneakers.

“Hey, we got show choir rehearsal for the competition tomorrow.” Denise said.

“Uh oh. Ex-girlfriend, twelve o'clock.” Lizzie said and Natalie looks over and sighs as she gets into a squatting position.

“What are you doing here, Rachel?” Natalie asked as she places her gear into her duffle bag.

“I'm here for the show choir competition. I heard your school also is in the competition.” Rachel said as Natalie stands up.

“Yeah well, since our city is the host city, we were one of two New York schools automatically qualified for nationals.” Natalie said with a slight snark in her tone.

“I came to say I'm sorry since you didn't give me a chance to do that.” Natalie scoffs and looks at her after standing up.

“You're sorry? You slept with Finn for months and I'm not blind on Facebook. I saw the posts that he did and you know what? I'm glad we're not together anymore and I mean this in a literal sense, but break your leg.”

“Nat, we gotta go to rehearsal.” Chelsea said. Natalie picks up her backpack and walks away from her ex-girlfriend.

“Show choir, huh? Didn't know you had it in you.” Ashlyn said and Natalie slowly smiles.

“Hey. I didn't know that you were coming.” Natalie said then hugs her.

“Decided to come down and see you in action.”

“Natalie --” Denise said as she points to her stopwatch.

“Right, I really gotta go. But will I see you tomorrow?” Natalie asked the goalkeeper.

“Absolutely.” Ashlyn said with a smile. Denise pulls Natalie away and she looks back at the goalkeeper and winks at her.

“Oh, you got it bad for her.” Alex said with a chuckle.

“Legally, I can't do anything until she's eighteen.”

The following day was the show choir competition. Natalie stands in the wings of the stage as her school is getting ready to perform before McKinley High. As she watches a school from Florida perform, she feels a tap on her shoulder and turns around to see Rachel standing there.

“What do you want?” Natalie whispered.

“I came to say good luck and break a leg.” Rachel whispered.

“Thanks.”

“And I hope you guys do well.”

Natalie is out in the audience and looks over at the other side and sees Chelsea waiting as well. Natalie releases a deep breath then looks and slowly smiles when sees Ashlyn holding Allie in her lap.

“There's Mommy.” Ashlyn said softly to Allie and waves the two-year-old's tiny hand.

_“Now to perform, from right here in New York City at York Preparatory School, The MegaTones!”_ The audience cheers then the music starts up.

Chelsea:  
Yeah

Natalie:  
Yeah, whoo

Chelsea:  
Oh

The spotlight appears on Natalie and Rachel slowly smiles from her seat.

Natalie:  
Every single day  
I walk down the street  
I hear people say  
"Baby's so sweet"  
Ever since puberty  
Everybody stares at me  
Boys, girls  
I can't help it baby

So be kind  
And don't lose your mind  
Just remember  
That I'm your baby

Chelsea:  
Take me for what I am  
Who I was meant to be

Natalie:  
And if you give a damn

Both:  
Take me baby or leave me

Natalie:  
Take me baby or leave me

Both of the teens get onto the stage and face each other. James has a smile on his face as he watches Natalie performing. He looks at his grandmother and sees her slowly smiling.

Chelsea:  
A tiger in a cage  
Can never see the sun  
This diva needs her stage  
Baby, let's have fun!  
You are the one I choose  
Folks would kill to fill your shoes  
You love the limelight too, now baby

So be mine  
And don't waste my time  
Cryin', "Oh Honeybear  
Are you still my, my, my baby?"

Natalie:  
Take me for what I am

Chelsea:  
Who I was meant to be

Both:  
And if you give a damn

Chelsea:  
Take me baby or leave me  
No way, can I be what I'm not

Natalie:  
But hey, don't you want your girl hot?

Chelsea:  
Don't fight, don't lose your head

Natalie:  
'Cause every night, who's in your bed?

Both:  
Who

Chelsea:  
who's in your bed?

Natalie:  
Kiss, pookie

Both:  
That's it! 

Natalie:  
The straw that breaks my back

Both:  
I quit, 

Chelsea:  
unless you take it back

Both:  
Women, 

Natalie:  
what is it about them?

Both:  
Can't live with them or without them!  
Take me for what I am

Chelsea (Natalie):  
Who I was meant to be  
(Who I was meant to be)

Natalie (Chelsea):  
And if you give a damn  
(And if you give a damn ya better)

Chelsea (Natalie):  
Take me baby or leave me  
(Oh take me baby or leave me)

Both:  
Take me baby  
Or leave me

Guess I'm leaving  
I'm gone!

The audience cheers and the rest of the group comes out to the stage. Natalie stands at the microphone and brushes her hair back behind her ears then places her hand on the microphone and the stand as the music starts up as the group behind her do a dance routine.

All my life  
I’ve waited for the right moment to let you know,  
I don’t wanna let you go,  
But now I’ve realized there’s just no perfect time  
To confess how I feel,  
This much I know is real

So I’ll refuse to waste one more second without you knowin’ my heart  
Baby, ‘cause I don’t need anything else but your love,  
Nothing but you means a thing to me,  
I’m incomplete  
When you’re not there,  
Holding me, touching me I swear  
All of the rest could just disappear  
And I wouldn’t even care,  
As long as you’re there.

Take these words,  
Don’t let them go unheard,  
This is me reaching out,  
I hope you can hear it now  
‘Cause, baby my heart said stay,  
Take it, it’s yours to break  
I’d rather try and lose,  
Than keep this love from you, yeah

So I’ll refuse to waste one more second without you knowin’ my heart  
Baby, ‘cause I don’t need anything else but your love,  
Nothing but you means a thing to me,  
I’m incomplete  
When you’re not there,  
Holding me, touching me I swear  
All of the rest could just disappear  
And I wouldn’t even care,  
As long as you’re there.

Natalie with MegaTones harmonizing:  
Each day and night,  
That I’ve kept this a secret,  
It’d kill me; it’s time to share what I feel inside

MegaTones and Natalie:  
I don’t need anything else but your love,  
Nothing but you means a thing to me,

Natalie:  
I’m incomplete

Natalie with group:  
When you’re not there,  
Holding me, touching me I swear  
All of the rest could just disappear  
And I wouldn’t even care,  
As long as you’re there...

Natalie:  
As long as you’re there...  
Ohh...

The group receives a standing ovation from the audience. Natalie looks at Ashlyn and winks at her then heads backstage with the group.

“That was amazing.” Natalie hears and turns around to see Rachel standing there.

“Well, they weren't intended for you.” Natalie said as she crosses her arms.

“Just hear me out. I shouldn't have slept with Finn, but I can't undo what I did. I hurt the one person who really loved me, besides my fathers. That was you. Do you think you can ever forgive me?” Rachel asked.

“I don't know if I ever will, but it will take an extremely long time before I do.”

“I understand.” 

“What the hell was Finn doing with the kiss?” Natalie asked.

“It caught me off guard. Although, I wish it was you kissing me and not him.” Rachel walks over to her friends and Natalie sighs and rubs her face then walks over to her friends.

Natalie holds Allie in the lobby of the venue after the competition and kisses her daughter's head then looks at Ashlyn.

“Thank you for watching her.” Natalie said softly.

“She's an angel. Just like her Mom.” Ashlyn said and Natalie looks at her, feeling something that she never felt before.

Love.

“So, we dropping this off?” Xander asked as he walks over with Derek as they carry the first place trophy, breaking the spell between the women, and Natalie looks at her brother.

“You guys go ahead. I wanna get Allie home.” Natalie said.

“You got it.”

That night, Natalie holds her almost two year old in her arms. She kisses her cheek and feels the toddler snuggle up to her.

"Tired Allie?" Natalie softly asked.

"Yeah." Natalie tucks in the toddler into the toddler bed and softly kisses her forehead as she tucks in the child.

"I love you baby girl." She kisses her daughter's forehead again then turns on the nightlight and quietly shuts the door.

“Allie finally go to sleep?” Alex asked her daughter.

“Yeah. Mom?”

“Hmm?”

“If I dated someone older than me, would you and Momma be ok with it?” Alex looks at her daughter.

“Is this a hypothetical question?” The 17 year old nods.

“How much older?”

“Less than ten years, but more than five.”

“Do you remember what I told you when you asked me if it was ok if you and Rachel were dating?”

“Vaguely.” Natalie said. Alex places the legal pad down onto the coffee table and looks at her daughter.

“As long as you are happy, Bee, then I am going to be ok with it. But promise me that you will wait until you are 18 to do anything...sexual with that person.”

“I promise.” Natalie kisses her mother's cheek then heads upstairs for the night. She gets into her bed and looks at Ashlyn, who is beside her and fast asleep. The 17 year old lays down and closes her eyes with her back to the goalkeeper. Right before she falls asleep, she feels Ashlyn spooning up behind her and Natalie knew one thing.

She was falling in love with the older woman. And that was scaring her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been months since I last updated, but do forgive me on that. I'm figuring out the story (since I have the ending almost complete, but need the entire plot before the ending).
> 
> Also, the second song is actually from "Glee", but for the sake of my story, Vocal Adrenaline never made it to nationals.


	4. May 2011 part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter has mentions of rape of a minor

The damn alarm clock. Natalie thought to herself when she hears the familiar beeping. She reaches over and hits the snooze button. She lays on her back and blinks a few times to wake herself up then looks to her left side and sees Ashlyn sound asleep in the bed. The 17 year old watches the older woman sleep and scoots over to her.

“Do you have to get up?” Ashlyn asked.

“I have school.” Natalie said and Ashlyn looks at her.

“It's Sunday.”

“Right. Wait, don't you have a match?”

“No.” Ashlyn places her hand on Natalie's cheek, feeling the smoothness.

“Look um, before we even think about dating, because we both know that there's attraction between us, there's something you should know.” Natalie said then sits up, making the goalkeeper sit up as well.

“What is it?” Ashlyn asked.

“Carli probably told you about how I hate facial hair --”

“Not the whole story, but only how you're trying to convince your father to get rid of his.” Natalie sigh and places her feet flatly on the bed.

“It was October of 2000 and my brother and I were waiting for our Mom to pick us up from school. One of my dad's co-workers showed up and said that he was taking us to see our Dad, charming his way to the teacher. She fell for it and I knew that he was lying, but I didn't want to leave my brother with him, so we went. As soon as we saw the windowless van, I started screaming for someone to help us, but he covered out mouths and shoved us into the van. He took us to Brooklyn and hid us in a basement.” Natalie started to say and swallows a lump in her throat. Ashlyn holds her hand, ignoring the spark in them.

“He raped me and forced my brother to watch and my brother was five and I was seven. We escaped and hid in an alley all night. My brother slept, but I stayed awake in case our kidnapper was coming back. Our grandmother lives in Brooklyn, but I had no idea where in Brooklyn we were.” Natalie said as a tear falls down her face. Ashlyn reaches over and wipes it away.

“My parents were so terrified that we were killed, but relieved we were found and furious that I was raped. So whenever a friend or family member start growing facial hair, I get scared.” Natalie finished.

“You survived a horrific ordeal. I am really glad you told me this.” Ashlyn said and Natalie looks at her then leans over and kisses her cheek tenderly.

“I do want to be with you, Nat. But we both know that I can't do anything until you are eighteen.”

“Which won't be for another three months.” Natalie said.

“There's one thing I can't understand.”

“Which is?” Natalie asked nervously.

"There's a lot of pictures of you with Julie Foudy." Ashlyn said and Natalie internally sighs in relief.

"There should be since she's my godmother." Ashlyn's eyebrows go up.

"Alexi Lalas is my godfather. He and my Dad were teammates on the national team. They were the first two to support the women's team. There's my soccer ball from the 1996 Olympic teams, the 1998 men's World Cup team, the 1999 women's World Cup team and the 2004 Olympic gold medal team."

"I wish I had all of this growing up."

"No, you don't. Don't get me wrong, I loved traveling around the country and world when I wasn't in school, but I love the stability. Now being with the youth national team, I have both and Allie loves to travel."

"My family was almost broken up because of addiction." Natalie looks at her as she crosses her legs and places their jointed hands on her leg.

"Soccer, surfing and skateboarding kept me away from all of the problems I was facing." Ashlyn continued.

"Never surfed or skateboarded." Ashlyn playfully gasps.

"Travesty." Natalie laughs and Ashlyn loves to hear her laugh.

"Ice skating, soccer and ice hockey are more my outlets. I watched JAWS once. Decided to never surf and why I am afraid of sharks."

"What kind of person hates sharks?" Natalie giggles.

"A smart one. Come in.” Natalie said and looks over with Ashlyn after there's a knock on the door. Both women release their hands and already miss the contact.

“Hey. Dad wants to know when you are coming for Sunday dinner.” Xander said and Natalie sighs then puts on her glasses, which turned Ashlyn on.

“Oh crap. I forgot about that.” Natalie said.

“Ash, this is one of my brothers. This is Xander.”

“Hey.” Ashlyn said.

“Hey. And you promised Grandma that you would help her with the dessert.” Xander said to Natalie.

“Alright, alright. Let me change, deal with Allie and --” Natalie started to say.

“Mom's already got Allie downstairs and eating breakfast since she heard her awake an hour ago.”

“Then me bring Ashlyn to her car in Jersey, if you would let me finish.”

“Got it.”

Natalie pulls up to Ashlyn's car in the empty parking lot and parks beside it. She turns off her car and looks at the goalkeeper, who looks at her.

“I had a great time this weekend.” Ashlyn said.

“I will formally introduce you to my parents later. All four of them.” Natalie said.

“I can't wait. When do you head out for California and North Carolina?”

“A week after school ends, so during the World Cup. I should be back by the final.” Natalie said.

“Come up to Rochester for the World Cup final.” Ashlyn said softly.

“I will.” Ashlyn tenderly kisses her cheek then gets out of the car and Natalie sighs then slowly smiles as Ashlyn gets into her car. Both of them thinking the same thing as they are in their respective vehicles.

I am in love with you and I am screwed.


	5. May/June 2011

“Wait, are you ok?” Ashlyn asked on Skype with Natalie.

“I'm ok. Physically, I mean. Mentally and emotionally? Not really. I just...she was my friend and I don't know why she would shoot up the squad room.” Natalie said. The young soccer player was at work at the 16th precinct when her friend, Jenna Fox, shot up the squad room after she found out that the detectives caught her mother's killer, resulting in Elliot shooting and killing Jenna.

“I leave tomorrow for camp in California and I can't even sleep.” Natalie said as she rubs her face then realizes that she still needs to pack. She turns her laptop towards her dresser and starts packing.

“So, I'll stay up with you until you have to leave for camp.” The forward looks at the goalkeeper on the monitor.

“I'm not asking you to do that.”

“I know, but I want to.” Natalie softly smiles.

“So, your Mom is in the Congo?” Ashlyn asked and Natalie quietly sighs.

“Yeah. She's coming back in July. I think. I'm in Queens for tonight since JFK is about ten minutes away from here.”

“Why haven't you been called up to the senior camp?”

“I was technically in January, but I wasn't mentally ready to be part of the team. Physically, I am, but I wasn't ready for it. I know that Pia is wanting me to come in, I maybe called in the first camp before the 2012 training camp. So, you played for Anson?”

“You know him?”

“I do. He coached the first World Cup team that a couple of my friends were on. He's also gunning for me to be a Tar Heel.”

“Dude, you should play at North Carolina.”

“North Carolina isn't the only school vying for me. So is Stanford, Duke, Santa Clara, Rutgers, UCLA, Virginia, Stony Brook, Florida and Georgia.”

“Go to Florida.”

“Uh...no. The hot weather and hurricanes? No way. And Georgia is out of the question as well.”

“Phooie. Hey, are you going to come up for any more games?”

“I hope to. You gonna come to any of my games?”

“You know it. So, wait. If a pro team comes to Florida and you get drafted --”

“Then I'll go to Florida and play for the professional team. Until that happens, I'll only go to  
Florida if I have to.”

_“Nat? Lights out in five.”_ Natalie hears her Dad tell her through the door.

“Ok Dad.” Natalie said.

“Does this mean you have to go?” Ashlyn asked.

“I'm afraid so.”

“Nat?”

“Hmm?”

“I...I hope you have fun.”

“Thanks. Get the Flash into playoff contention.”

“I will.”

“Goodnight.”

“Night cutie.” The video call ends and Natalie slowly smiles.

As Natalie prepares for a friendly against Japan in California a week later, she thinks about the u20 World Cup last year.

_Flashback_

_Natalie, Denise and Chelsea all stand next to each other in the starting lineup against Germany in the quarterfinals for the World Cup._

_In the second half, Natalie gets the ball and runs up the field. She nutmegs the German defender and kicks the ball to the goal. As she plants her kicking leg, she feels a twist in her knee and falls to the ground, while the game continues._

_"Gah!" Natalie yelled as she holds her leg. Denise and Chelsea sprint over to her. Denise motions for the trainer. Natalie watches the rest of the game from the bench with her knee wrapped up with ice and plastic wrap. As Germany celebrates the win, Bianca Schmidt, who happens to be Natalie's cousin on her father's side, walks over to Natalie and hugs her._

_"Nice job with the nutmeg, Natalie." Bianca said in German._

_"Thanks. Except I may have torn my ACL. Give my best to our family." Natalie replied._

_"You know I will." Natalie grabs the crutches and crutches to the locker room with Denise and Chelsea. In the end, it was an MCL grade 1 sprain that took six weeks to heal and Natalie was ready to play for playoffs to win another state championship._

_Back to Present_

Natalie puts on her headband and takes a deep breath when her phone vibrates with a text. She grabs her phone and smiles when it's from Ashlyn.

From Ash:  
Good luck Nat! I'm rooting for you!

From Nat:  
Thanks Ash! ttyl later

Ashlyn sits down in the stands while wearing her USA shirt. Carli, Alex and the rest of the senior USWNT joins her.

"What are you guys doing here?" Ashlyn asked.

"Wanted to see Natalie play. What are you doing here?" Carli asked.

“Same thing.”

Natalie sees the goalkeeper off her line from midfield and shoots. Everyone stands up and cheers when the ball goes into the goal. Natalie looks at Denise and Chelsea as they run over. She smiles and hugs her teammates.

Natalie sits down at her gate at LAX after the game. As she sends a text to her mother, Ashlyn sits next to her.

"Nice shot." Ashlyn said.

"Thanks. I think it was 54 yards out. Wait a minute!" Ashlyn smiles and they hug.

"You didn't tell me that you were at the game." Natalie said.

"I wanted to see you in action. Glad I did." Natalie's cheeks turn a light pink.

"Instead of driving to Rochester tonight, do you wanna spend the night?”

“I would love to.”

Natalie and Ashlyn walk into the apartment and Natalie pats Piper as her siblings are at the table, working on homework.

“You have a lot of siblings.” Ashlyn said softly.

“I have three more with my Dad. You already know Xander. Then you got Parker, Calvin and Emily. Hey guys? Where are Justin and Jules?” Natalie asked.

“Momma went to pick them up from the Stablers.” Xander said without looking at her.

“Then where is Monkey?”

“Hi.” Natalie hears and turns around and smiles when she sees Allie in the playpen.

“There's my girl.” Natalie said then picks up Allie.

“Can you say hi to Ash?” Natalie asked softly to her two-year-old.

“Hi.” Allie said bashfully.

“Are you being bashful, Allie-Cat?” Ashlyn asked and Allie smiles and hides her face in Natalie's neck.

“She has never acted like this before. You must have charmed her.” Natalie said then kisses her daughter's forehead.

“I do charm people.”

“Yes you do.” The duo look at each other, both feeling their hearts pounding.

“Oh for the love of – Will you two stop eye sexing and just kiss already?” Emily asked and Natalie looks over and the four teens are at the table, watching them.

“I'm going upstairs.” Natalie said then heads upstairs after placing Allie into the playpen. Ashlyn releases a deep breath then follows Natalie up the stairs. She walks to Natalie's room and sees the teen sitting on the bed.

“That wasn't awkward.” Ashlyn said as she sits next to Natalie.

“I'm sorry about them. They know how to embarrass me.” Natalie said.

“All siblings are like that. Mine included.” Natalie looks at her and wants to badly kiss her.

“I want to kiss you so bad right now.” Natalie said softly.

“You read my mind.” Ashlyn said softly then places her forehead against Natalie's. They pull back slightly then they slowly lean in.

_“Pizza's here!”_ Natalie hears and freezes right before her lips meet Ashlyn's.

“My family knows the worse timing apparently.” Natalie said and Ashlyn chuckles.

“Let's go eat.” Ashlyn said then kisses her forehead.

“Literally eating dinner or sexually?” Natalie asked then walks out of her room with a smile growing on her face as Ashlyn is getting turned on.

“I hate you.”


	6. June 2011

After visiting with UCLA, Berkeley and Stanford, Natalie looks at the Santa Clara soccer field and quietly sighs. She knows she has to make a decision very soon about her future and already chose at least an east coast school, but doesn't hurt to look out west as well. As she is looking at the field to see if she can imagine herself being a Bronco, she hears footsteps walking over and knew that it was Brandi Chastain walking over towards her.

“So, what do you think?” Brandi asked.

“It's a good school, but too far away from family. Plus, who is going to watch my daughter when I have to travel with the youth national teams?”

“You know I can. I've had a child.”

“I know. I just...this is huge for me and I just don't want to disappoint my family or myself for that matter when I do make a decision.”

“I know. But you also need to make that you are wanting to do this. Don't let anyone tell you any different.” Natalie nods. Her phone starts ringing and the forward looks at it then answers the call with the phone on speaker.

“Hey Aunt Jules.” Natalie said on the phone.

“Julie, Natalie chose Santa Clara.” Brandi said.

“What?!” Julie asked.

“She's kidding, Aunt Jules. I haven't made up my mind yet.” Natalie said while chuckling.

“Ok, good. Because I'm getting that exclusive, right?”

“Exactly. How's Germany?”

“It's good. I have no idea what anything is since I don't speak German.”

“I thought you took German lessons from my great-grandmother?”

“I did, but apparently they didn't help much.”

“Where are you?”

“Munich.”

“Nice city to play a game in.” Natalie said in German and they hear Julie groaning.

“I knew I should have brought you.” Julie said.

In New York, Ashlyn arrives at an office building and walks to an office and looks at the name plate.

James O'Brien

She releases a deep breath and knocks on the closed door.

“Come in.” She hears and walks into the office.

“Mr. O'Brien?” Ashlyn asked and he looks over from his desk.

“I'm Ashlyn Harris. Natalie's friend.” She said.

“You're her. Natalie hasn't stop talking about you.” He said as he stands up and they shake hands.

“I'm here because I really care about your daughter and I was wondering if I could have your permission to date her.” He quietly sighs and motions to the chair behind her. She sits down and he sits down at his desk.

“My little girl has been through a lot.” He said.

“She told me about your co-worker and what he did to her and Xander.” She said.

“I still can't forgive myself for what he did to my kids, especially to Natalie. She's 17 and I worry about her, even more so now that she has Allie.”

“I know. She idolizes you and you're why she became a soccer player.”

“Promise me one thing.” He said.

“Ok.”

“Don't have sex with her until she's 18. I know the age of consent is 17, but as an attorney, the age gap that you two have would be considered statutory rape. But as her father, I would be more comfortable once Natalie is a legal adult.”

“I understand. She is someone really special and I don't plan on losing her. Hurting her is something I know that I'm going to do, but I'm going to be there for her and Allie.” Ashlyn said.

“Then yes. You have my permission to date my daughter.” James said and they stand up and shake hands again.

“But.” James said as Ashlyn is at the door and she looks at him.

“Her schoolwork and daughter come first. No exceptions. And have her home by ten.” He said.

“Yes sir. Except she's in California right now.” Ashlyn said.

“She flies back today.”

Natalie walks through JFK and looks around then slowly smiles when she sees Ashlyn waiting for her. She walks over and the duo tightly hug.

“For you.” Ashlyn said then hands over a red rose.

“Thank you. What are you doing here?” Natalie asked.

“Well, since it's group stage, we're on break from the league. And I want to take you out to dinner for our first date. I already got permission from your Dad to date you.”

“My Dad didn't try to scare you off, did he?”

“No. He's actually pretty cool.”

“I told you.”

After their Italian dinner, Ashlyn and Natalie get off the elevator and walk to the apartment hand in hand, both feeling the spark in their jointed hands.

“I had a great time tonight.” Natalie said.

“I did too. Who knew that New York would be so amazing?” Ashlyn asked.

“Hopefully, I can take you to a Broadway show.”

“I would love it.” Natalie places her hands on the goalkeepers shoulders and they tentatively kiss. As they start to deepen the kiss, the goalkeeper holds Natalie against the front door to the apartment as they make out, both women feeling sparks and knew that they belonged together. As they continue to make out, the door opens and they both fall into the apartment.

“Ow.” Natalie said.

“Are you ok?” Ashlyn asked and Natalie looks backwards while on the floor.

“Mom!” Natalie said and Ashlyn quickly gets up then helps Natalie up.

“What are you doing back from the Congo already?” Natalie asked.

“I thought I would surprise you guys. I definitely was surprised by this.” Alex said.

“Mrs. Cabot, I got permission from Mr. O'Brien to date Natalie.” Ashlyn said.

“Alex, it's ok. I gave permission.” James said. He was making sure that his daughter was home on time, which she was.

“Anyway, I will see you later, Nat.” The new couple quickly kiss and Ashlyn heads out as Natalie walks into the apartment and hugs her Mom.

“So, that's new.” Alex said to Olivia after Natalie heads upstairs and after James left.

“I will let her explain it in the morning.” Olivia said.

Upstairs, Natalie opens the window and lets Ashlyn into the room then quietly closes the window.

“I had no idea that she was coming home.” Natalie said softly.

“It's ok. I didn't either. I'm just glad that you said the fire escape leads to your room.” Ashlyn said softly then tenderly kisses her. After changing into their pajamas and falling asleep, Alex quietly opens the door and sees them sleeping with Ashlyn's arms around her daughter.

“I'm glad to be home.” Alex whispered then quietly closes the door.


End file.
